4/30: Parent letters

I guess it could be argued that all moments in time are equally important, for they were all necessary to bring you to the place where you are right now. But then again, there are times when events converge, and something significant and maybe even transformative occurs. Today was one of those times.

For the last couple of years we have asked parents to write a letter to their child, sharing with their child the hopes and dreams they have for him or her. We share this letter with the student about half way through the Global Studies trip. Today was that day of sharing.

 We walked east from the hotel into Pigeon Valley.

 Pigeon Valley

 We found a small but nice open area where three valleys came together.  Eli started this class meeting asking the students to share things they missed. Students talked about family, music, food, internet, clean clothes, and other items they may have taken for granted. Then he led the discussion toward appreciations, and once again, students shared things they appreciated about home. And now the space was ready for these letters. Students were asked to to enter a space of quiet, then find a private place to read their letters. They were told to bring their journals, in case they felt the urge to write. They were told to stay in this place for one hour, and then return to the circle. 

Kyle in his quiet space

Meg in her quiet space

Last night Eli and I talked about travel and life and transformation. I mentioned to him that leading this Global Studies trips does not satisfy my urge to travel, for there is so much to take care of, so much logistics, so much responsibility. The value I get from leading these trips is vicariously - watching the students, listening to their words, being part of the process of opening up the world to these young souls. And every trip feels like a blessing to me. I am so appreciative to able to witness this transformation.

Today was no different. I will share with you what some of what the students shared after we came back together.

"Obviously my parents love me and I've always known that, but they also understand me in a way I did not realize."

"Even though we are only half way through the trip, I felt like I wanted to start my final trip reflection. So I did."

"I want to be more a part of the team of my family. I think my parents overestimate me. I want to be more of who they see me as."

Before, I didn't really think much about my brother going off to college next year.  And now I realize what a big hit that will be for me."

"When you are young you can believe you can be anything, no matter how untrue that may be. But it really hit home to hear how much my parents believe in me."

"I had to read the letter a few more times before I understood how my parents saw me as a person, and how I can complete the challenge they set for me."

"I won't say that I felt a new sense of self, but I felt a new sense of relationship to my family and friends."

"I saw all of these people's names and it made me remember how much they care about me."

"I've been telling people I am now a man. But a piece of paper from your Bar Mitzvah saying you are a man doesn't make you a man. I thought a lot about that."

"I thought no one really got me and how I work because I'm a quirky person, but after reading the letter I realized that my parents and brother do get me and how I work."

There were a lot of tears, a lot of hand holding, and a lot of support. There were some people who felt regret, who felt loss, who felt disappointed in who they are. But there was also a lot of love and a lot of appreciation. I shared with the students the image of a large rock being placed in a smooth, still pond, and the slow outward ripples it creates. We have no idea the impact we have on others. There are so many connections that we cannot feel or see. Don't ever give up that fantasy that you can change the world, or that you can make a difference, because you can.