8/29: The Rain and connection

It is raining really hard, like it never rained in Seattle, and for a very long time. I don't know if I will go to Ayuthaya today. I don't know if there will be flooding and how it will affect train travel.

I am the only person in the hotel restaurant, in the outside covered section. I have always been really attracted to intense weather, maybe because of growing up in Las Vegas and not experiencing it. I remember at university, in Santa Cruz, when it was really storming, I would dress warmly and go outside. There is something cleansing about it. Maybe it is a reminder of our small place in this vast and powerful earth - a good reminder of the illusion of control we sometimes try to maintain. Or maybe it is an opening of our senses to the larger reality that we are part of. I also remember when I first moved to Santa Cruz, and being amazed by the smells. My nose was always stuffed growing up in the dry desert. The sea air of Santa Cruz opened up this sense for me. There were times in Santa Cruz that I would walk about with my eyes closed, amazed by the reality of smell, adding another layer to my limited sense of reality. It makes me wonder how many more clues there are of our connection to the earth that we are, at times, too dense to appreciate. There is something about getting "lighter," carrying less on our back or in our mind which provides our heart the opportunity to connect to a greater reality, a reminder that the more we carry to protect ourself, the more insulated we get, and the more "separate." Weather, like travel, shows us that there is nothing to fear from being vulnerable. In fact, it is the space of vulnerability where we can appreciate our connections.