8/13: Traveling with Noah

I have been thinking about this sabbatical for 5 years, ever since Noah graduated from Evergreen School. I told my headmaster at that time that I would take a sabbatical year when Natan graduated. The boys would then be old enough and independent enough not to be too much of a burden on Christy being a single parent for a year.

The original sabbatical plan had been to do some traveling and some writing. I have a year-long, project-oriented math curriculum based on architecture that I thought would be worth trying to publish. For a number of reasons, the planned changed to a year on the road.

When Noah graduated from Evergreen School, I promised him a trip abroad. I had envisioned a summer trip. Only recently did the two plans merge.

And now I contemplate what it will be like to travel with a 19 year old. I have always loved traveling alone. It gives me such freedom to not plan. Noah has mentioned numerous times over these last few months that he also wants that experience and adventure of traveling alone during this trip. I hope he gains the comfort, experience and confidence to do it.

In the mean time, we will be together, which I am overjoyed and a little anxious about. Though I have been the main care-taker of my boys (they have each been with me at Evergreen School since they were 6 months old), I have never spent this amount of intense time with either. It will be a new adventure in fatherhood. I am pretty sure I will need to let go, to some degree, of our defined relationship of father and son, and learn to be a partner with Noah.

I went to a workshop a few days ago on “Contemplative Listening and Compassionate Action,” and realized there that I was being presented with a model for a travel partner. I am leaving it up to Noah to determine the itinerary. I am hoping that I can model some of what I have learned about flexibility and acceptance, which means letting go of 19 years of experience, which I am sure has dug some deep trenches in my relationship with Noah. But I know that one cannot help but grow while traveling, so I am optimistic.

I guess it is somewhat like my role as an educator. I am at my best when I am a facilitator for “opening doors,” as opposed to “the expert.” My 22 years of teaching “gifted” children has taught me that they are much smarter than me. Sometimes the best teaching strategy is to just get out of the way. I look forward to learning from Noah, and growing our bond.