5/11: It was a four hour bus ride from Hanoi to Halong Bay, where we boarded two private boats, which would be our home for the next two days.
Alfred, Adam, Shirley and Ben, at the front of the boat
View from the entrance to Thien Cung cave
Inside Thien Cung cave
5/12:
sales woman
The next morning we went kayaking to a floating village
laundry at the floating village
more floating village
leaving the floating village
And kayaking into the caves - our national guide Ha
Jumping from the boat deck
More kayaking later that day
Entering more caves
More jumping and swimming in the late afternoon
sunset-ish
An incredible final meal of crab, prawns, fish and other sea food
There were called slippers
Karaoke late into the night
5/13: Our final day in Halong Bay - we took a row boat through this cave
We saw a lot of monkeys
Final shot of Halong Bay
Favorite quotes from Halong Bay:
There was a question about what happens to what's in the toilet when it is flushed. While the students were jumping from the deck of the boat, that question was answered. One student said, "Someone's a party pooper."
Spending a lot of time on buses, you ended up creating games to pass the time. We decided to all guess the driver's age. When he turned out much younger than our guides Ha and Mike believed him to be, they demanded proof. When they weren't satisfied with the proof he gave them, they grabbed his wallet and started going through it. "You can't do that," I said. "His wallet is private." To which Ha replied, "Bring the private to the public. In Vietnam, no problem."
Farewell Dinner in Hanoi:
I told the students a few days before the farewell dinner that their last reflection was to share the most important lesson they learned while in Vietnam.
Our national guide Ha with his wife Huong and sons Minh and Thanh at our farewell dinner
Our other national guide and tour operator Mike with his wife Hai
Final farewell dinner group shot
Vietnam 2010 Most Important Lesson Final Student Reflections
As I have talked to the Vietnamese people through the trip, the one characteristic that most sticks out is their ability to be happy with what they have, no matter how small. When we visited the orphanage in Hoi An, the kids there were content with living on 50 cents a day, and when we gave them small gifts such as balloons, they were ecstatic. At our homestays, we learned from our local guide, Ha, talked about leaving his farming village at the age of 15, and that a family might earn as little as 10,000 dong (50 cents) a day. And yet, they pull through. The Vietnamese people have taught me a great lesson: be happy with what you have.
My most important lesson in Vietnam is what I have been slowly realizing all throughout the Vietnam trip. My passion is video for the Vietnam trip. Since the beginning of the trip, I have been aggressively taking video, even through my broken digital camera, I borrowed Farris’s Flip camera and kept on recording. I am not sure if this applies to the other members of the Video group: Farris and Rebecca. But I have realized that I was taking video so obsessively that I missed out and didn’t take everything in when we were at the location. I heavily regret this but that is going to be a lesson that will stick with me forever.
The most important thing that I have learned is that you have to go for the experience, because if you don’t you will have wished that you had. Whenever I decide that I don’t want to try the food or freak out about how many motorcycles there are in the street, I always regret that I didn’t go for it. When I am hearing the wonderful experience someone had buying something, or how good a food was I wonder if I would have had a similar experience. Sometimes it isn’t all that great when I try something, but I don’t regret taking the baby step forward.
The most important lesson that I have learned on this trip, is to go outside the limits and boundaries that I’ve set for myself, and not assume things about my personality or character. I’ve learned that it is better to try new things and fail, then not try them at all and regret not doing it later. I feel that I’ve always put limits on myself before I even try anything, thus defining what I can and can’t do before I even try. This trip has tested the way that I think about my abilities and my confidence, and made me try things that pushed me out of my comfort zone. In so many ways I feel that I’ve grown as a person on this trip, I’ve become less stressed out and worried, and have instead just tried to live in the moment, but I think pushing myself has been the most valuable lesson I’ve learned. It is a lesson that I can take home with me and use in my everyday life, as well as when I am traveling and am confronted with a challenge. This trip is full of experiences that many of us will never experience again, therefore we have to grasp every moment and every opportunity that we are presented with to learn new things and grow as a person.
The lesson that I learned is to always bring an extra role of toilet paper wherever and whenever you go somewhere.
The most important lesson I’ve learned on this trip is to always try new things. I never would’ve tried any of this food, and I never would’ve found out how much I liked it. I probably wouldn’t have done half the things I have. I learned that I err on the side of caution, which isn’t always a good thing. When you’re growing up, so many people are watching out for you, so you don’t always have to be an adult. I never knew that. And besides, if it was really all that dangerous, the chaperones wouldn’t let you do it. Always remember that the chaperones re your friends- don’t just take their advice, but appreciate that they are here for you as well. Just experience as much as you can- if they give you the opportunity to do something, then do it.
The people are what matter always. They are the ones who change the world, through the simple chain reactions of negative or positive actions towards one another. They are the ones who you remember ten years down the road, though all of the pagodas and mausoleums of the trip might be gone. How I affect each of the people around me is my legacy and my only legacy, something which I never fully realized until I started to explore the people of the world around me. I learned Vietnam not through the lens of my camera or through decades of history, but through my home stay mother, the H’mong women who teased us about our love lives, our wonderful tour guides, and the veteran who had returned here but still t\ook the time to talk to us over breakfast. The conversations we have and the people that we watch carve us into the people that we become. I have realized that there are lessons to be learned from everyone around me, as long as I am strong enough to step beyond my comfort zone long enough to shake their hand, learn a bit of their story and in turn carve my knowledge into their lives. My actions might change their hearts, make them cringe or simply make them smile – it is up to me how I change those around me and in turn make my tentative impressions on the course of the world.
The most important lesson I learned in Vietnam is that I should be trusting of everyone else. Trust is the only way you can experience the culture of the country you are in. If you don’t trust the people you meet, they will never give you an opportunity to experience their country. So go around and trust people!
The biggest lesson that I’ve learned in all of Vietnam is that you don’t know anything about anything until you see it up close and personal. No matter how many books you read, no matter how many reports you do; you can’t know more than what you gather from biased second hand sources. If I hadn’t come to Vietnam I would know nothing of this lesson and now that I have I am overjoyed that I was able to travel to this amazing place.
The most important lesson I learned on this trip was a greater sense of responsibility and how to deal with other people when they are pissing you off. I had to deal with people that I was tired of quite a few times on this trip, and I think I handled it better as the trip went on. I also had to navigate, sometimes when the group was going the other way, not to brag, but I don’t think I ever went the wrong way.
My lesson that I learned with this trip is that gifts given to poorer countries impact so much more than money given to organizations in rich countries. Me and my family give a huge amount of money to organizations in Seattle, but in reality those donations don’t have a huge an impact as giving that amount of money to organizations in places like Vietnam.
I think that the most important lesson I have learned over this trip is not to live outside the experience. I want to be absorbed completely by what I’m feeling. The trip has provided so much and I feel like I have done a good job of taking it in. Living in the moment is a skill that I hope not only to improve but also to continue to use. I only regret getting sick because I missed some of what I could have seen.
The most important lesson I learned on this trip was how much we depend on all of our electronics and other items that make up our western life. When we went to the home-stays I learned that we don’t really need as many of the things we use for daily life at home. Instead of electronics they were able to keep themselves occupied with the simplest of ways. I also learned that what we think of as hard work is nothing like what they do, spending even one hour tending the rice patties was extremely hard work and I cannot even fathom spending twelve doing that backbreaking work every day.
When I was thinking about what the biggest lesson I had learned was, I found I was stumped. Its not that I hadn’t learned a lesson, it’s just that nothing seemed quite right. Africa was the place that made me not take things for granted, and when my friend’s father died I learned how important my parents are to me. The lessons that seemed to apply for everyone else didn’t really seem right. I’ve had so many moments where I’ve learned something; I just didn’t really feel like it was right though. After lots of thought I guess that the two things I learned here were appreciation and trust. I started to appreciate the people around me, for the little things; giving me a coat, taking my camera to me, complementing someone that had a bad day. Even the things that annoyed me, were sometimes not that bad. If I appreciated the idea behind the action I found that I could put myself in their shoes. Trust was something that was a little harder to define. The first people that I leaned to trust here were the local Vietnamese people. Through talking to the children and the people on the street I learned that connections could be made with little effort. Trust was something that could be made on a superficial bond. The thing that was hard was to trust the people that I knew. Since I knew so much about them, I knew both the positives and the negatives which made it harder to trust them. Sometimes the people that I trusted the most in Seattle, I couldn’t trust in Vietnam. I came to a problem, sometimes when I trusted people they would betray me, and sometimes I would trust them and they wouldn’t trust me. At the end of the trip in Ha Long Bay I came to a consensus. I would trust people, even if it wasn’t wise. Because I decided that I couldn’t go through life not trusting people. And although I’ve learned a lot in Vietnam about my friends, I’ve learned more about myself.
The most important lesson I’ve learned on this trip is that nothing is what you think it is, even if you think you know it really well. The aspects of your personality that you think are your weaknesses are actually your strengths, and what you consider your strongest point may be your greatest weakness. The people who you thought you hated turn out to be really nice, while those who you thought would be your strongest allies desert you with no notice. Something you thought you disliked, like a certain food or an activity, may become your new favorite thing, even as your former favorites become the bane of your existence. Nothing is as it seems – but if you roll with the punches, you can still have a great time.
Ever since I was old enough to really start to learn and care about the global studies trip, people have been telling me that when my turn comes, I will return a changed person. I have always been told that my experiences in that far away country would shape me in ways I never really thought about before. Now that I have been through the trip, and am almost done with this experience, I know that I have been affected in many ways. I don’t think I’ll really feel the extent of it until I get home, and can look back on who I was before Vietnam. I had never before experienced such a different country. The people, the sounds and smells of the cities, the landscape, the food, the customs, it was all alien to me. I had never even been to another country except for Canada. The things I have seen, the experiences I have had here have been amazing, touching, and at some times saddening. None of my imaginings came close to the reality.
I have learned some very important lessons in the last month, some more important then others. But the one that I have been thinking about throughout the trip is this: You only get one shot at life, one shot to experience amazing things, to drink it all in. I only have a month in this beautiful country, and in many other places I travel, I will probably have less. I have learned to go for things, to take chances, conquer my fears, and take in every moment. At home, I never really thought about the world around me, in my own city, or across the world. Now that I can compare my home to a whole new place, I think my eyes have really been opened to the little things in life. I want to experience it all. Vietnam has taught me to step outside the boundaries of my normal life, and take chances. You never know what you might miss if you don’t.
During this trip I learned a lot. I think the most prominent thing was that even though Robert said try to live everyday in the present, and I did, it still feels like it was only a week by the end of the trip. I think I learned that you really need to think about the whole day especially when you write your journal so you can remember it.
The most important lesson that I’ve learned is that there are times that you have to just adapt to situations. There are some things that I had to get used to while I was in Vietnam. Being more independent was difficult for me at first. I usually depend on my parents for several things such as doing laundry. But I learned that it is great to know how to do things on your own. Going without American food for such a long time was kind of hard as well. The good thing is that I found several new Vietnamese dishes that I like. I also struggled at bike riding at first in Hoi An, but once I got the hang of it, I got so much better. I’m glad that I took some risks because I learned important skills and found new things that I like.
Throughout this adventure I felt myself longing for the comfort of things I know and the familiarity of life at home. It came to the point where I was building a barrier between me and my experiences in Vietnam. I was failing to live in the moment and appreciate the extravagant culture that unfolded around me daily. To fully experience the hidden secrets of the area around you it requires you to reveal parts of yourself to the world. You have to become a little vulnerable and put yourself out there. Then and only then can live in the moment. You can’t imagine how important some of those moments turn out to be for you.
I’ve learned several lessons on this trip, perhaps far too many to pick one. Most of these have not been simple morals or sayings, but rather facts about myself and the way I operate that lead me to understand my actions and decisions.
The problem is, to state my lessons would be to nullify their value; it would distract me from my actions and instead focus my mind on the lesson rather than the task at hand. The same phenomenon is what disables psychologists from practicing on themselves. I’d much rather live than learn. Or, in the words of one of my many wise teachers: “If you have a superpower, you don’t question the superpower. You have it, that’s cool enough, why question it?”
But perhaps my greatest lesson would be just that: To never be caught up in learning it, or finding the meaning in it, but to simply live it and appreciate it. And to love it.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned on this trip is how to deal with the ups and downs of life. For me the last month has been filled with many good and bad experiences. I’ve learned to deal with all the bad things that happen, how to move on and not hold a grudge, and how to ignore the little things that might bother me. People aren’t perfect and most people have many flaws. I know I have many flaws and I should forgive people. Usually when people do things that are annoying they don’t purposely do it to annoy me, but it’s usually just an accident. Most things people do are also so small that they only matter in the moment and in an hour or so they won’t bother me anymore. It’s something not worth freaking out over. I’ve learned to forgive and forget about the past and to just live in the present without carrying a grudge on my shoulder.
On this trip, I have learned how to apply and understand lessons that I have been taught all my life. People have always told me to appreciate what I have, and to realize that I lead a privileged life. I have understood this, yet have never really acknowledged the fact that I am extremely lucky. Going on this trip and comparing my lifestyle to many of the people here has made me think about this. Many of the people here do not have opportunities to learn and get a good education. Lots of children here in Vietnam tend the fields, herd livestock, or sell trinkets for their families. I know that when I get back to America, I will notice how completely different the situation is for families.
Despite their hardships, the happiest and friendliest people that I have ever met in my entire life live in Vietnam. Complete strangers will come up and talk to me about where I come from, why I am traveling, and ask about my family. Back in the US, even though I do not have many significant worries and have loads of opportunities, I have always been quite close minded. One of the most important things that I have learned here is that happiness does not come from money, or from lifestyle, or even from new achievements. Happiness comes from making the best of what you have, appreciating everything, working hard, and believing in yourself. All of the time that I have spent here just thinking, I have developed a better understanding for how valuable every second is, and have learned to be more grateful for everything around me.
Rachel pushed me off the boat yesterday. Not in a mean way- she was just trying to help. I was gonna jump myself but I was too scared. So she pushed me. Sometimes that’s just what it takes. There are two lessons in that. The first, which I already believed but was confirmed on the trip, being that everything happens for a reason and that everything will turn out ok in the end. The second is just to be adventurous, because you really have nothing to lose. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll get saltwater in your eyes? You can’t drown from three feet up. That push yesterday pretty much sums up the whole trip for me. The boat is like my stable, predictable life, and jumping off is like going to Vietnam. I may have been scared when I was still standing on the boat, but now I’m floating in the water and loving it. But that was yesterday. Today I jumped from the sundeck, three floors up, and I did it on my own.
The most important lesson that I learned during this trip was about being a more independent person and defining your relationships with other people. I have never felt homesick on this trip, even though there were things that I missed about home. I think that it is a good thing that I won’t be too homesick over this short month, so that when I go away for boarding school I won’t feel homesick then either. I have also learned about which friends of mine are actually my friends, and relationships with certain people have changed over the course of this trip. My feelings for Viet Nam have changed as well, so I have learned not to stick to assumptions of anything or anyone. These are the most important lessons I have learned during our Viet Nam trip.
“Life is fast, blink, and you might miss it,” easy to say, harder to live.
I heard the stories about returning a “different person”, we all did. However, I just dismissed them as one more piece of mythology about the trip. A more believable myth than some of the others, but a myth all the same. I have realized that they were right. I have changed along the road that is this trip, both within myself, and interpersonally. I may even be a different person than I started out as.
Before I came to Viet Nam, I moved fast; sometimes I may have moved too fast. Until less than a month ago, I wouldn’t have thought that I moved too fast. If you asked, I would have said, “I move fast enough to get places,” or something along those lines. But, as soon as we reached the halfway point on this trip, I looked back, and immediately realized that I had missed so much along the course of the trip. I barely noticed the coolness in Da Nang, or the size of the houses along the road (which is why I was so shocked at the home stay). I was lacking in the memory of the faces of the sellers, and I failed to notice the little details about Sai Gon (because I was so overwhelmed by the heat). I realized about three days ago that I have been blinking far too often. I intend to open my eyes, and keep them open to the world around me. I often think of myself as being detail oriented, but I have realized that it is the most important details that I often miss. You may not be able to stop blinking altogether, but you can cherish the moments in between your blinks.
When I arrived here, I griped about the smallest things: my sister taking the last pancake at breakfast, someone leaving a wet towel on my chair, being out of peanut butter for my sandwich, or my mom taking my sister’s side in an argument. Coming to Viet Nam has helped me to look beyond myself, and my “problems”, which aren’t really problems at all. I have gained a much broader perspective, and come out of my rich, white, and fully Americanized world. It is important to step back from any situation, and realize, in most cases, that the little issues don’t really matter. My mom has told me this in the past, using the phrase “take three steps back.” But, apparently it took an international trip to make me realize that she was absolutely right.
Throughout the last three and a half weeks, I’ve learned the invaluable lesson that every moment is precious. I’ve thought about this all throughout the trip, whether I’m waiting an unreasonably long time for lunch at a restaurant or shoving my way through a narrow, packed market. In moments when the hands on the clock seem fatigued, like in the restaurant, I try to waste the time away. When I’m overwhelmed and the hands on my watch seem to be chasing each other at full speed, I try to slow it down. So how did I learn to compromise and let the trip go by at a reasonable pace? I tried to observe every little detail that I could and remember all of them. The more small occurrences that I recall later, the longer the day seemed, and the more I feel like I took advantage of every moment. I think of each smile or frown as a single thread in the blanket of my memory. I’ve been trying to weave those strings as tight as possible and leave no holes or frays in the fabric. So when I’m in that restaurant I remember all of the laughs I let out, and when I’m in that market I stop to take a deep breath and remember each smile I receive. For I’ve come to realize that every moment is precious.
I went into the Vietnam with an awful mindset. I was angry at myself and had stopped enjoying a lot of things I normally love. I can’t really describe how excited I was for this trip, though. I expected so much and I got even more; this trip really has been one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done. I was worried about thing, and that was how snarky and tight I’d become. My friends would say one thing, and I’d kind of explode at them. I was afraid that this would hold me back, and it did, until I figured out how to just let things go. I figured out how to forget the things that were happening back home, and I learned how to just relax when things made me mad. Honestly, I screwed this up for most of the trip.
This all sounds so unrelated to Vietnam, to the beauty and horror of this country, to the lessons my friends have learned. But for me it’s connected to the Vietnamese I’ve met, who’ve experienced so much more than I ever will, and who’ve seen more than I ever want to, yet are happier than me. I wanted to know why they were happier, why they greeted me so warmly, and if I could be like that. I don’t think I could wake up like them everyday in the hot, sticky heat, with the itchy bugs and the memories of hardship, and then honestly care about one staring tourist. I don’t think I ever could, but now I want to. This trip taught me about myself and my reactions, my insecurities and my strengths, and how I should use them in the future.
My final reflection:
I've come full circle. 22 years ago was my first Global studies trip. I asked myself what the purpose of the global studies program was. I knew it was more than just appreciating diversity. The United States had just emerged from eight years of Reagan and his cold war rhetoric and nuclear military build up. And I knew that the purpose of appreciating diversity was peace - in order for the planet to survive we had to figure out a way to learn to live together. And I still believe the purpose is peace, but I've moved from that big external peace to an internal one. No matter how much you grow, no matter how much you learn, when it comes to spiritual matters (matters of the heart), it always seems that you have to learn the lessons again and again. What works while traveling may not work as well when back in the US, back at school, back with your families. But we must hold ourselves lightly. I read a story once about a spiritual teacher who found out his wife had cancer, and he could not remain unattatched to her life. We will always have attachments, but we can learn to hold on to them more gently. So when we have to learn our lessons again and again, don't be so hard on yourself, but hold yourself gently.
Thanks for sharing these incredible reflections! They are lovely and such great reminders about what's important in life.
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