May 24th: Farewell Dinner

May 24^th: Farewell Dinner

 Your farewell dinner was in a private room on the 4^th floor of a Hanoi restaurant. It lasted from 5 to 8 pm. In between eating and celebrating Rory’s birthday, students shared their “most important lesson,” and also each student and chaperone received a special award and small gift representing that award. It was quite a “love fest” as everyone was so supportive of each other. The students’ insights which they shared were a blessing to all of us. At 8:20 pm we drove to the airport. It was very difficult for everyone to say goodbye to Ha and Mike, who everyone has grown to love so much – they are truly part of the Evergreen family and we will all miss them so much.

Our flight for Seoul left and arrived on time, which means we got a maximum of 4 hours of sleep. Asiana Air provided us with day rooms at a hotel in Seoul. Though the kids are tired, many are already out (in small groups with adults) exploring the city, and some, I am sure, will just hang out at the hotel and sleep.

See you soon,

Robert

My closing lesson to the students

I have many teachers. I learn from the books I have read, from my experiences, from the people I meet. I learn so much from you all. I carry around with me a few pages of my favorite quotes. Every now and then I take out my pages of favorite quotes, for they are lessons that I need to be reminded of from time to time. I learn these lessons over and over again. I want to share with you four of my favorite quotes.

Parker Palmer wrote: “Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.”

Mother Teresa said: “In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.”

Eckhart Tolle wrote: “Your entire journey ultimately consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step.”

Jack Kornfield wrote: “We do not have to improve ourselves: we just have to let go of what blocks our hearts.”

I believe these four quotes are all saying the same thing. Accept what is.

You are all such thoughtful young adults. You are all going to be so successful in your life. But success has many faces. I don’t have to tell you all to work hard. You will do it, I know. My advice to you all is to be gentle with yourself. You have learned so much, grown so much. Travel is by nature the environment for growth, as everything around you is different and always changing. You will go home soon, as I have “gone home” so many times before, with lessons in my mind of how I will be different. Home is a different environment with different expectations and different demands. It is sometimes not easy to hold on to the people we have become. So be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Accept who you are, right now, at this moment. It does not mean you should not try to improve and grow. It may seem paradoxical, but the more we accept what is, the more we have opportunities for growth. Acceptance of what is opens the door to what may be. And the more our hearts open. Be patient with yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. Walk with an open heart.

Student Sharing of their "Most Important Lesson"

After visiting our Sa Pa homestays and visiting Ha Long Bay, compounding on my previous experiences, I have learned that in times of emotional relaxation and silent observation the world and nature show themselves to you. In these times, most often at sunrise or sunset, you receive a true breath of nature, and with that comes a sense of its true nature, including its vast size, incredible wisdom, and overpowering sense of awe. To me, this teaches me the lesson of the understanding of the nature of nature. Among the various ideas that accompany this realization is a second and perhaps equally important lesson, and that is of how small each one of us is. In the absence of urbania and the presence of nature we feel the overpowering mass of nature, which leads naturally to awe of the environment, which compounds to give you the lesson of size. To me, the lesson of size means that we understand our diminishment from the majesty of nature. From these two lessons flows one final supposition, that as in David versus Goliath, we must be careful of the smaller subject’s control over the larger, and to realize that we must be careful of our power and tendency to drive the figurative bulldozer over the lands of nature and olden originality.

I have learned over the course of this trip to always make an effort to connect with people no matter how disconnected or alien they may seem to you. Sometimes the gap may seem large, I thought I had nothing in common with the Zay people of Sa Pa until I had stayed there for three days, and sometimes the gap can be as small as a difference in interests. But if you make the effort to bridge the gap you will find that you have a lot more in common than you may think. I believe that this is the most important lesson I have learned on this trip.

On this trip, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that asking questions can sometimes be more important than the answers themselves. After reflecting on the visit to the War Remnants Museum in Saigon, so many questions filled my mind. How could humans do that to one another? How did it go on for so long? Could it happen again in the future? Why did it happen in the first place? My first emotion was guilt, for what the people of my country did, but next came anger.

I wanted answers, by the time I realized I wouldn’t be receiving any, I also realized that just by asking those questions I was doing all I could to prevent it from happening again.  There could be a million answers to the questions I was asking, yet I don’t think one would have satisfied me, but by simply putting them out there I immediately felt better. I could live without the answers, but I couldn’t live without ever asking the question.

Set many goals for yourself, they don’t have to be big goals, just goals, and if you want to set a big goal set a bunch of little goals leading up to that colossal goal, then, your goal may be conceivable. When you have a goal, you have reason to wake up, something that motivates you to try harder, something that makes you think and makes you push yourself, and I think we need that. I think that we need a goal; because sometimes we need something to help motivate us, to keep us active in the present, help us look forward to the future and to stop dwelling in the past. Thank you.

The most important lesson I have learned on this trip is to trust in my actions. At the beginning of the trip, I had a big decision to make. When I asked others about it, they tried to help me make my decision. Although it was really nice of them to offer their help, it I felt that it was never really helpful and it didn’t apply to me. I had gotten a lot of the same feedback and I was just going to go with what my friends said I should do. However, after weeks of pondering my choices, I have come to a decision, the one that I believe in, also the one opposite instruction. I now realize that I should be the one who should make my own decisions, no matter what everyone else says.

One of the most important lessons I have learned on this trip is that alone time is just as important as group activities. Over the trip, I have bonded and spent time with almost everyone. However, spending so much time with other people sometimes drives me crazy. On these occasions, I just want some alone time. This trip, I have learned that alone time is important.

The most important lesson I learned that we can bond with people who live so far away from us.  When we were back in Seattle I didn’t think that I was going to be able to connect to the Vietnamese people, they speak a different language, eat different foods, have different beliefs and don’t look like most of us. But after traveling around Vietnam I realize that even when you can’t talk you can still connect, from my pen pals to the Vietnamese man who played ultimate and bad mitten on the street with us, I made connections. 

The most important lesson I have learned on this trip is that having a family is a privilege, not a right. At the orphanage in Hoi An, I interacted with so many children who will most likely never have a family like mine, big and nearby and made up of so many people who love me.

Before the trip, I took my family for granted. Sometimes, back at home, my mom, dad, and brother would want to go on neighborhood walks at night, and I was always reluctant to join them because I wanted to watch New Girl or look at stuff on Instagram. Now I will never hesitate to spend time with my family, and I will always remember to tell them I love them and appreciate them, because having a family that I am so close with is a blessing that some people will never get to experience.

While hiking to my Sapa homestay I was overcome by the fact that I was in a whole new country and was surrounded by such beautiful scenery. This experience taught me to live in the moment and to think about where you are instead of thinking about where you could be.

After visiting the orphanage, passing through rural villages, and seeing how people are so happy with what little they have, I not only hold incredible respect for these people, but also have so much more gratitude for all my opportunities and everything I have.

The most important lesson I learned over this trip was to be gracious for what I have, and the knowledge that things that seem mundane to me may be a life changer to someone else.

The most important lesson I have learned over the course of this trip is very simple. Don’t just wait for what you want to fall into your arms on a silver platter. Go and reach out for what you strive to achieve, and only rely on others sometimes.

In Hanoi, I had the opportunity to visit my pen pal, Giang’s, home. It was possibly the most unbelievable and surreal experience for me. I remember feeling this sense of connection with her as she led me down the road that she takes every day to attend school. As I tried to imagine how it would be, walking these grounds to school, I felt drawn closer to her and her day to day life. I got to see her home, her family’s pottery studio, and the racks among racks - hundreds of clay tea pots. Then we entered her house, it was so incredible to see, firsthand, the home to a Vietnamese girl who is the same age as me. I first noticed how different her home was from my own. I found it completely different: The structure of her house, her living room and her simple kitchen. And I realized that although both of us live on different sides of the world, surrounded by different people, growing up with our own cultural norms, we were both just as content with our own lives. There was no need to compare what she had that I didn’t, or what I had that she didn’t, we were both happy. My lesson is: Never doubt that one who lives a different lifestyle than you isn’t gratified.

The night before we left for the trip, my cousin came over and talked to me about the trip, since he had gone four years prior. We talked and he told me about all the fun things to do and see in Vietnam. He also gave me some really good advice for the trip. One piece of advice really struck me. He told me that in Halong Bay, when they went kayaking, he was in a kayak with somebody we didn’t really like. At first, he was very annoyed about that, but then he realized that he was in Vietnam, and he was in Halong Bay, and he got to go kayaking. His parting words to me before I left to begin my journey were, “just get in the kayak.” This has been the most important lesson that I have learned on this trip because it taught me to not get caught up in the small things, and instead to look around. It has also been my mantra for the entire trip.

The most important lesson I learned while on the Vietnam trip is to do everything you can. I decided to take advantage of every opportunity given to me while in Vietnam. I participated in almost every activity and now that I am back in Seattle, I am very glad I did as much as I could. I learned to experience life to the fullest, as you only have one, but to also know your limits and be safe while having fun.

I have learned that one of the best ways to ensure happiness is to graciously accept whatever is given to you, whether physical or emotional.

On this trip I have surmounted obstacles that I would never have though possible for me to accomplish and even discovered joy in them. I have found that the real challenge is not the action itself, but the willingness to say “yes” to it.

The lesson I’ve learned is to always accept the challenges that are thrown at me, instead of turning them away, because this exact moment will only happen once. And I have learned that that is something I need to cherish.

The most important lesson I learned over the trip was to take the opportunities given to me and to enjoy each moment. One particular concept speaks to me the most.

In every moment, you can do one of three things. You can rush by, aiming just to finish and move on. You can stop and look, meaning be in the moment and then move on, or you can skip the moment all together. I did all that I could to take in each moment.

When some members of our Sapa homestay group and I went for a long hike, I made it my goal to stop and look, everywhere I went. I kept my chin up and made the trip feel like every moment was a new opportunity for me, not a long tiring hike. I realized that, in order to truly see a new place, I simply had to keep my eyes open.

This trek made me realize the importance of stopping and looking. I learned that many of the greatest opportunities to see a new place come from simple interactions. It is just the choice of whether you want to stop and look, or whether you just want to move on.

Every step through the mountains; Every breath in the rivers; Every smile with the locals; They were all an opportunity to stop and look.

I have learned to be less dependent. When I went on this trip, my first thoughts were what am I going to eat; I am such a picky eater. I depended on my parents to cook me good food that I liked. In Vietnam I did not have my parents any more. I had to make my own decisions and step outside of my comfort zone. I have now left the leash that was keeping my dependent on my parents.

My most valuable lesson I am taking away from this trip would probably the thrill and need for adventure. Each and every one of us has the longing to explore, whether that means exploring the world or exploring more down to earth things, like science or technology. This trip has brought out my inner need for travel as a person who would like to know more about different undeveloped countries around the world. When I was younger, whenever my parents would take me to a country with them, I would see it like they were dragging me along with them. Leaving home for a month has now changed my view on travel. I love traveling, but this trip has extended that passion to include more independence and desire.

I learned that being unable to communicate verbally does not hinder communication and the ability to create bonds with others.

I learned that even when things seem a long way off, they are always attainable.

Be free both physically and mentally to get lost, and enjoy one’s surroundings, at any given.

I have found that once you can see beauty in pain and suffering, you have seen past it. Although all of the beauty and blessings in my life are exceptional, they used to be intertwined in an underlying guilt and sadness I didn’t understand. This trip has handed me the remedy of appreciation and generosity. I have become much more appreciative, aware and generous, learning that to open your arms to the world with blissful submission is the most cleansing, gratifying and humbling experience.

I believe everyone has a good spirit, but sometimes that spirit is shrouded by the gift of freewill. Reflecting, I find that my inner spirit, the person that was there from the beginning, has been veiled for almost half of my life. I feel only now has begun to emerge once again.

The most important lesson I’ve learned in Vietnam is that having a functional mind and body is a gift so many people, including myself, take for granted. In Saigon, when we visited the War Remnant’s Museum, I learned about the horrible effects of Agent Orange. But when we visited the orphanage in Hoi An, I realized just how devastating the disabilities is causes can be. While we may not be totally happy with ourselves, I think it’s important to remember the people who can’t talk, can’t move, can’t think, and be grateful that we’re healthy.

Over the course of the trip, I have learned many new things, but the most important lesson I learned was how to be independent. Independence is hard to learn, but this trip forced it upon me, allowing me to really BE independent. This is the most important lesson I have learned because it is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The most important lesson I learned In Vietnam is that you must always be certain, but know when to give up on the things you were certain about when it’s necessary. I learned that you cannot, in fact, try to see if peanuts inside. And that even though someone reassures you over and over again, if you have your own doubts, you need to act upon them. If you believe something to be an unnecessary risk, much of the time it will be, but if you think it will be worth it, you should do it, just be prepared for it all going south.

The most important lesson I learned on this trip is to never be afraid of doing anything. The feeling of discomfort and insecurity should be let go. Enjoy life and do everything. Eli and Robert always say, “Expand your comfort zone.” I’m not the greatest biker and I proved that by steering my way into muddy water. But later that day Eli told me to expand my comfort zone by riding a bike back to the Hoian Hotel in flip flops and in the rain. I made it. And I think it made me a better biker. If I can bike in Vietnam, hopefully I can bike back in Seattle.

In the beginning, I was terrified of going on this trip. There were so many negative thoughts pounding my head. But turns out, all my worries faded away as the days passed in Vietnam. There weren’t as many mosquitoes as I thought there would be. The heat wasn’t the best but we did have air conditioning most of the time. In the USA, you usually don’t bargain for your items at the market. But in Vietnam, you do and it’s fun. And if you’re like me and understand what the Vietnamese ladies are saying behind your back, it’s funny. The Vietnamese people that I’ve met were so friendly. It was nice to be able to communicate and connect to all of them. They made me love Vietnam. They made me love the language, the culture, the food, and the people. If my parents offered to go on vacation to Vietnam, I would definitely come back.

The most important lesson I’ve learned from this trip is to live in the moment. Dwelling in the past or pondering about the future will not allow you to fully experience anything. Your mind will be clouded with thoughts that don’t relate to the situation. This will take away from the opportunity to experience things to the fullest. For example, by now everyone is planning what they will do once the plane touches down at SeaTac. Especially now, it is important to forget about the future and be present. Living in the present will allow you to fully experience the moments that later become your greatest memories.

I learned that things can be so different, and it can be overwhelming, but one can become used to it easily if they put time into it.

A few days ago we were on the bus to Halong Bay, and I was looking out the window. It’s kind of strange, but on the buses here I keep having these really deep life discoveries and stuff, so yeah, this kind of just came to me. I was thinking about how we aren’t awake and we aren’t really there for so much of what happens around us. That doesn’t really make sense…basically, our life is kind of just what we experience. So we miss out on a lot. Therefore, the times when we are awake and the moments we do experience, we should be completely present in. We should try to absorb every detail, every part of every experience we have. We should make the most of every part of our lives and try to take it all in. So I guess, overall, what I’ve learned from Vietnam is to live every moment to the fullest.

Before the trip started, I went to church for the first time in almost a year. When they heard that I was going on this trip, they told me to go in peace, at first I didn’t understand what they meant. But, now I realize that the most important thing I learned on the trip is that peace isn’t found on a slip of paper that two leaders sign, peace is found in the people you meet, what they say, and how you speak to them. Peace is not words on a page, peace is found in the feelings of others, and above all else, peace is found within you.

Throughout this trip, the most important lesson I have learned is to never take anything for granted. After seeing how some families must live on a daily basis, and living without the small luxuries that I have become accustomed to has helped me realize how many things I don’t appreciate fully in my life, and how much I have to be grateful for.

The most important lesson I learned during this trip is that I hold myself in a box. Eli always talks about how we hold each other in boxes, we have a certain image of the person (the box) and we don't let them break out of it. While I'm usually an introverted person, during the trip I found myself enjoying being around people, and not seeking out alone time. While I am often very nervous about performing and similar things, I did karaoke on our last night in Ha Long Bay. The trip stretched my comfort zone, and got me to do things I don't usually do. Because of this, I learned that I'm not always the person I think I am, and to find my true self I must continue to try new things all the time, even once the trip is over. 

The lesson I learned on this trip is to just roll with it.  Don’t get too attached to the way things are.  If something happens don’t complain just continue on.  Change isn’t necessarily wrong so don’t approach thinking that the way things are is right.  Also think through what other people are saying before responding.  People don’t always make clear the meaning of the statement.  It can be very easy to misinterpret the meaning.  The most important lesson I’ve learned on this trip is to just roll with it.

I’ve found that I am always more independent than I think I am. At home I usually avoid tasks like cooking, doing laundry, going out on my own, ordering at restaurants, etc. Over the trip I realized that I have these capabilities, and while I don’t think that I can accomplish these small tasks, I can. Instead of saying “I don’t know how to” when faced with these obstacles, I should start saying “Yes I can.”

I have taken too long to adapt to the situation when I have traveled with my family. I have gained a new trait. I have been able to adapt quickly. I chose to share this new trait because I feel it is better to adapt quickly than to think about the places you’ve been. Because it is better to live in the moment than dwelling on the past.

Over the course of the trip I’ve learned how lucky I am. I am lucky to have such caring parents who would do anything for me. I am lucky to live in a country that gives you so many options in life. I am lucky to have a house; lucky to always have food on our table; lucky to have accessible education. I learned that I am lucky to have the life I have.

Vietnam taught me many things – some profound and some basic but all very highly valued to me. I learned how to cross and weave through traffic-jammed streets and how to simply observe. I learned to step outside my comfort zone and how imperative bug spray is and how itching cream is a lie. I learned how helpful laundry places can become and how to connect with those who I cannot speak directly with. But what I find to be one of the most important things I’ve learned is how having little-to-no expectations makes the best experiences.

Here, I had no idea what to expect. However, from all the research and studying we completed over the course of the school year on Vietnam, I began to create pictures in my mind. Vietnam is a place very different than Seattle, or the States in general. It’s places like these, where practically nothing is the same as home where knowing how to completely immerse myself is how to get the entire experience – of course, I know only to push myself to my physical and mental limitations. I learned this progressively over the trip, and though I still cannot totally proceed in following through with this lesson constantly, I have experienced times where I did not have expectations and everything presented to me was an absolute joy.

In the beginning, I remember being sort of nervous to even attempt to become one with the Vietnamese. Of course, I was all over throwing myself into the busy streets – to my charperone’s dismay – but I think I was less eager when it came to local interactions. There was a part of my mind, shoved way back, which thought the Vietnamese wouldn’t like us too much because we were Americans. And because of that, part of me hoped that I wouldn’t be hated by them because I don’t look American or Caucasian. But the rest of me, from listening to past Vietnam trip stories knew that the Vietnamese were kind, friendly people. As well, I also expected to have to only speak Vietnamese while out and about with my groups. It turned out that that’s not the case. But, that only made it more fun to attempt to speak the local language. Luxury was one more thing I was hoping for/expecting. I wanted to have amazing homestays and hotels with nice, working bathrooms that don’t have bugs and don’t stink, and to be able to sleep in a comfortable bed – and on a bamboo mat on the floor. I was really hoping for that bamboo mat, god only knows why. And getting to the homestays made me a little disappointed. But I quickly tried changing my mindset and turning my attention to the family that lives there and to the fact that we are able to kind of live out their lives.

            But now I realize that if I have no expectations, or at least too high ones, then I won’t have walls of doubt and disappointment blocking me from seeing the world truly as it is.

I learned to truly observe the world. To completely take in the surroundings is  to immerse oneself into the world around them, and that is what I think a big part of this is. Being in a totally different world and location is such an amazing experience, and I believe that one can never know when and/or if he will ever experience such a sight again. So over  the course of this trip, I have learned to take the time to really look at everything around me including all five senses. I have learned to pay attention to the particular smells and surfaces, the sounds of the location and the tastes of the food there. The sights, however, is one of the things that truly amazes me; the sights and the people. I have taken to spending my time, when I can afford it, to observing the entire world around me and taking it all in, thinking and realizing where I actually am and what I’m doing and who I see. I still am astounded by everything I see, whether it be at home or here in Vietnam – it just happens to be more incredible when here in Vietnam, a foreign country to my eyes. 

The most important lesson I learned on the trip was how see more than the obvious. I learned how to seize the moment by taking advantage of the opportunities given to me on this once in a life time trip. As I looked out over Halong Bay I did not just see the beautiful scenery, but how much this trip has meant to me, how it has changed me, and how it has changed all of you. In my daily life I see the same things every day and I do not usually notice the little aspects of what makes it special. Coming on this trip makes me appreciate the little aspects that one might not notice so that I can remember this trip to the fullest. Living in the present is part of this. As we are about to leave this beautiful country we are ready to have the amenities of our easy lives at home. I learned that instead of just focusing on what I am looking forward to, I should focus on how to experience the moment and gain as much as I can from it. As Jen said in our homestay, it will all be there for you when we return, as in a clean shower, your own bed, and American food. Because of this trip I am able to see how lucky I am and appreciate what I have. This country has taught me so much.

During this trip, I’ve learned to open myself up to new things. To expose my insecurities and set them free, knowing that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. Whether it’s trying to talk with a local or attempting (and failing) a backwards dive, it’s not about having your fears overtake you but instead concurring them.

This is the most important lesson I’ve learned on this trip: you might not get a chance to do something again When I think of the phrase ‘Yolo’ I sometimes forget what it stands for. You only live once. This, so you should commit fully to it and enjoy it for every moment.

Every action, and every situation lends opportunity for positive human growth, Not only physically, or even only emotionally, but just as a person over all. So often in life we get caught up in the moment, and only focus on all the negative things. But with everything in life there is a positive and negative and the most important thing is to draw out the things that are positive and really matter, rather than to focus on the negative things.