2/28 through 3/4 on Kenawa island

February 28:
Kenawa island is uninhabited, besides this little "resort," which has 15 bungalows. It is about an hour boat ride from Labuan Bajo. I came over with Jon and Doreen from Germany, so now there are 5 of us on the island (not including the workers and the wild goats, which I haven't seen but have heard about). Antonello, from Italy, is my bungalow neighbor, and there is a Spanish women who I haven't met yet.

After settling in my bungalow, I went for a one-hour snorkel. If yesterday's snorkeling after Rinca island was "amazing," then there are no words for today's.

My bungalow costs $16 day, including the boat ride back and forth from Labuan Bajo. They run the generator 4 hours a day, from 6 to 10PM, so that is the only time there is electricity. The generator also runs the pump, so for 30 minutes they run water into your outside mandi, or bath. There is no fan in the room, only a bed and a mosquito net.

My foot for perspective

Later in the afternoon I went for my second snorkel. I noticed a large school of fish under the wharf, so headed there. Right near the wharf, at the coral's edge,where the water gets deep and a little cold, I was shocked by a huge water tortoise. Due to the magnification caused by the goggles, I am not sure how big it actually was, but I estimate that the shell alone, which was almost translucent, was a meter long, and its flippers looked as long as my forearm. I watched it for a couple of minutes, then, I am embarrassed to say, I farted, and it must have been loud, for it scared the tortoise away.

My original plan was to come here for one night, snorkel a bit, then head back to Flores for the interior. Now, I don't know how long I will stay.

Quote of the day from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, p. 93:
Gilbert described the difference between herself and her sister. Elizabeth had always been "the loved and the lucky one, the favorite of both family and destiny. The world had always been a more comfortable and welcoming place for me than it was for my sister. " That's why she can go to Rome without researching a thing, "90% lost and 100% happy."

I think that must be somewhat like me. I think that I wouldn't be so comfortable being lost or being without a plan if it wasn't for a basic, optimistic point of view, a faith based on personal experience that the world is a "comfortable and welcoming place." I didn't consciously generate this. It probably became part of my being due to experiences I had that supported such a perspective. I am lucky, blessed and thankful for that, for I would be a different person if I didn't trust that it will all work out.

Coral through the water in low tide, shot from the pier

March 1st:
I went snorkeling by myself on the first day, and even though the water is not deep, maybe this is not the safest thing to do. So today I snorkeled with the two Germans, Jon and Doreen. Jon told me that sometimes he writes 10 pages in his journal at a time, trying to describe everything. I would love to accurately describe the beauty and diversity of this underwater wonderland, but I can't. The variety of colors, shapes, and sizes of the coral, the fish, and even the star fish, is too much. So I will leave it to your wildest imagination - but be wild, and maybe your imagination will come close to reality.

Sunrise on the beach at low tide

There are a couple of incredibly large school of fish that hang out under the wharf, so thick with fish that it looks like a forest of seaweed. It is amazing to swim in the middle of the school. They open up, then reconverge around you, so you are surrounded by thousands, maybe millions of fish, all swimming in unison.

I am so glad I came to Flores when I did. It is still relatively unimpacted by tourism, but there is talk of turning Labuan Bajo into the next Bali - an international airport, new building constructions, even a five-star hotel planned for this island. What will this place look like five years from now?

Quote of the day from Eat, Pray, Love, p. 107 (just because I think it is a beautifully written couple of sentences): "There were a few years there, lost in borderless despair, when I used to experience all the world's sadness as my own. Everything sad leaked through me and left damp traces behind."

A large school of small fish, shot from the pier at low tide

March 2nd:
Doreen and Jon, the German couple, left this morning. Antonello left with them for the day to Labuan Bajo. A Danish family, Morten, Sofie, Ela and Axel, arrived yesterday, but will leave tomorrow. I thought I might leave tomorrow as well, but Antonello invited me to go with him to visit an island nearby, so I think I will stay.

Jon and Doreen, with the pet deer. There are two of them on the island, along with a family of cats, who are also very friendly.

Quote of the day from Eat, Pray, Love, p. 107: "The appreciation of pleasure can be an anchor of one's humanity."

The Family from Denmark, Morten, Sofie, Ela, and Axel, who didn't want his picture taken

There's his face

March 3rd (almost my last day alive):

Yesterday, Morten gave the fishing rod he has been carrying, to an Indonesian worker, who quickly caught two needle fish (they look like barracuda), which we ate for lunch. While snorkeling, Sofie and I saw another tortoise and a huge-headed puffer fish. This morning I saw four lion fish, the most beautiful fish ever, and a sting ray, racing below me. Currently, there is quite a drama going on between a school of fish and a flock of birds, who hunt the fish as they leap out of the water.

Antonello, the head kitchen worker, and the fisherman

Antonello is quite an interesting guy. He has been working in the import industry for 25 years, first with products from India, and now from Indonesia. He is Italian, and also speaks Spanish, English and Indonesian fluently (maybe more languages, I don't know). He took me today on his fishing trip to an island nearby, where he and his Indonesian friend used spear guns and I went snorkeling. We went in the late afternoon, anchoring about 100 meters off the shoreline, and I swam toward it to snorkel in the shallow water and look at coral and fish. After about an hour, I thought to head back to the boat. I was probably within ten meters of the boat, and a little behind it, when a current caught me. I started swimming harder, but before I knew it I was even with the boat and then past it, heading out to sea. I am swimming as hard as I can and the boat was shrinking in the distance. I think I said out loud, "oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!" but I don't know for sure because I was wearing a snorkel mask. And then a voice inside me said, "You are panicking." And at that point, I stopped fighting and swam with the current, hoping to edge my way towards the island. I kept watching the ocean floor, and when I saw it starting to get shallower, I knew I would be okay. Eventually I got to where I could stand. I stood in the coral and caught me breath. I heard Antonello yell towards me that the current was too strong (duh!), but it would quiet down in about an hour (he couldn't make it back to the boat either, even with his flippers, which I didn't have). My energy was completely spent. After a while I headed to the beach and rested on the sand. Just as it was getting dark, the Indonesian shouted, "back to the boat." I started way behind it. The current was still strong, but not so bad. I caught the front of the boat as it pulled me by. We didn't get back to Kenawa until late.

Reflection on Gilbert's Eat, Pray Love:
"Look for God," Gilbert writes, and while I do spend a lot of energy looking for God, I know that my experience has been that I can not find or feel God's presence through looking. The very act of looking keeps God in the distance. It is when I stop looking, when I am just "being," that I have a sense of my connection to the divine. Or better yet, when I am just "being" is when I am the divine, and there is no separation.

March 4th:
Two days ago I moved my mattress outside because the bungalows are so hot. I slept much better on the porch. But whether inside or out, I awake to the sounds of the island - the rooster especially, but there is also the crow with two cans tied to it (I am told that gives the workers a warning as it tries to eat the baby chicks), which makes quite a ruckus as it flies by. There are two deer, and the young one is very noisy. And then there are the cats, meowing to be pet.

This is the first time I am leaving when I am not sure I am ready. I have a traveling philosophy - stay one more day than you think, and then you know for sure you are ready to leave. I have had the luxury of time to live this way, but I have a flight off of Flores in 13 days, and then two days after that my visa expires for Indonesia, so I have to leave.