3/18

Fruit salad is part of the breakfast that the guest house serves, but I added pieces from two mangosteens (on the top, for those unfortunate to have never tasted one). Pineapple is delicious, and watermelon is one of my favorite fruits. Bananas are so good in Indonesia (I guess because they ripen on the tree and end up on your plate probably the same day they were picked). But nothing, nothing compares to the Mangosteen!

So this is my last day of splurging in Bali. In the morning I went back to the fruit market to buy another kilo of mangosteens (about 8 or 9 mangosteens per kilo, costing about $2), then went for a swim, and then a very nice and deep Balinese massage ("You like strong massage," said the masseuse. "Why you not shave? You hairy like a monkey. Your children hairy like a monkey?" She asked). After that I went back to the best gado gado in Indonesia (as far as I know). I was mistaken in my blog yesterday. Here is what the sign says outside the restaurant: "Village Cafe, Owner Mr. Chicken." So now I have about $7 left in rupiah - enough for dinner to go back to my fish paste man and martabak man (from three weeks ago), buy myself a large beer, and still have some rupiah left over. What to do?

Eat Pray Love reflection:
In the last chapter of Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert wrote about a process she had gone through a couple of years back, when she was in the middle of a very painful divorce. She went to the island of Gili, off the coast of Lombok (the island just east of Bali) for a silent retreat - ten days to be alone with her "demons." On the evening of the ninth night, she sat and meditated, attempting to deal with them. First, she called up all the things she was angry about, and "owned" them, one by one, telling each event that there was a place for it in her heart. Then she did the same process with all the things she was sad about. Finally, she dealt with what was the most difficult - all the things she felt shame about. And even shame had a place in her heart.

This too is something that I struggle with, as I punish myself over and over again while recalling and rehashing painful events of my life. I think it is especially true when I am alone, for then, without the distractions of companionship, I live a lot of the time in my head. Sometimes I forgive myself (or others). Sometimes I even love myself, remembering that the place I am at is the perfect place for me at this time. I know that the "demons" are lighter than they used to be, so I know I am making progress on the road of forgiveness, joy and blessing. (I had originally written "one the road to forgiveness . . ." but changed it, for I know that it is not a place, but a process.)

Favorite Quote from Eat Pray Love (p. 294):
"God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now." (from a Sufi poem)

The next time you hear from me I will be in Malaysia. While I was working at The Modern School in Delhi in November, I met the principal of a Muslim Girl's school in Kuala Lumpur. She invited me to work at her school (for room and board only) for as long as I want - "One week, two weeks, one month, no problem." So I go there tomorrow.